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What is the Breast choice?
Ahh breasts. What man doesn’t love breasts? From pillows to milk jugs they are a pivotal part of American culture. Without boobs us men would have one less flesh mound to grope and obsesses over, infants would miss out on essential nutrients and beach volleyball’s entertainment value would approach zero. This article seeks to analyze and assess both the static and dynamic traits of the female breast so the general public can make a more informed decision when it comes to boobs.
The first and perhaps most obvious variable in a pair of tities is their size. Breast range from small and perky to bulbous and saggy. The exception to this scale is fake breasts, which are both large and perky. Most men find fake breasts to be completely disgusting as they are a direct reflection of a woman’s mental insecurity and stupidity. Fake breasts can be acceptable in some situations; it just depends on what a man is shopping for. "Big tits are fun as fuck to look at, they are bouncy and curvy and entertaining. However, natural Bs feel the best. They fit in your hand nicely, they are soft, supple, and firm. Sure the tit-job D looks nice in porn, but I would take a girl that has tits that match her body over anything else. Cute Bs, or even As on the right girl are perfect. The fact is any more than a handful is far too much, and it begins to feel like excess fat rather than a breast."
There are two types of breast-related encounters men will seek. Long-term potentially wife-material women and short-term “fuck and forget” whores (after all why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free). It seems the optimum breast size for wife-material would be a breast that fits within that man’s hand grasp (There have been many studies that correlate male hand size and preferred breast size1) and the optimum breast size for short-term relations being on average a cup size larger.
The reasoning behind selecting larger breasted temporary partners has to do with the potential for weight gain and saggage associated with large breasts. Typically a male seeks fuller breasted women for short term fornication because he knows he will not have to deal with the cow later on when her breast transform into saggy lard bags and her BMI (Body Mass Index) approaches critical mass. The same is true of fake-breasted women, while they make for great weekend fuck objects no man wants to be stuck with superficial women with emotional problems. Smaller breasted women make better wife material because they are relatively more static in appearance, aging well with time and have a low potential for falling into a high BMI.
Most men find fake breasts to be completely disgusting as they are a direct reflection of a woman’s mental insecurity and stupidity. Fake breasts can be acceptable in some situations; it just depends on what a man is shopping for. "Some sociologists point to the general weight gain among Americans as the cause of the increase in average breast size. Bigger people, the remind us, tend to have bigger breasts. And as obesity reaches epidemic proportions, the breasts of overweight women keep pace with the rest of them."
Intelligence and breast size have a direct inverse correlation. The cause of this phenomenon may be due to the fact that well endowed women are more likely to attract the financial and intellectual support of wealthy males and thus are less likely to actively seek an education and the financial impendence associated with it. Evolution has also played a strong part in breast size, with larger breasted women being the more common target of rapists2 and thus have no intrinsic need to have high caliber communication and seduction skills. 
The lion's share of the female breast is not made of fat tissue, giving larger breasts little additional functional as milk jugs. The beneficial value in larger breasts is found in their aesthetics but is offset by a lower life expectancy for the owner, stretch marks, inability to be taken seriously and possible back problems.
While some might argue that optimal breast size is incalculable because of the shear variance associated with male preference, few people can say the breast shape variable does not have significantly narrower parameters of desire. Most everyman seeks a hemispherical pair of healthy looking titties. Unfortunately breasts aren’t all Oranges and Mellons. While Pears and Lemons may be acceptable, Pineapples and Cucumbers are certainty not; and have led many men to disappointment once the knockers have be released from their bra-like cage and exposed in their true form.
Breasts aren’t all fun and games. There is a darker side to breasts that rarely gets talked about. Gynecomastia or Mantititus is the underlying cause for chronic male virginity for thousands of fatfucks across the nation. <RANT>
Nipples are a trivial trait unless they are extremely weird looking. Unlike shape, deviation from nipple norm is rarely a big deal (except for large Bologna-like Areolas, EWWW). Also puffy nipples are quite fun to squeeze.
If you listen to scientists these days they are saying that breasts are mankind’s new ass, delicately designed and relatively newly evolved in order to promote frontal copulation. If you listen to Pagans they will tell you boobs are a divine creation that embody motherhood and will point you to breast worshiping cave sanctuaries in southern France. If you ask me I’d have to say, that while epic tits are awesome, I’d rather have a nice piece of ass.
On a side note they should really change the way bra sizes are labeled. Currently they are Cup size and then chest width. Ex: 34B. All that really matters is cup size compared to waistline. Chest width is not an informative metric as it will only show how "wide" a woman's tits are. An obese woman will almost always have DD cup size or larger but these are not ideal breasts to many men and a Cup/waistline bra size would aid horny men in differentiating good tits from bad tits with observations purely collected from a girl's bra label.
The eager albino chimpanzee says : i like teh boobies :) -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The filthy orange kangaroo whispers : AFAICT you\'ve cvoeerd all the bases with this answer! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The tiny blue lemur speaks : Tits are fun b/c they are not sharp like nails and toothpicks. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The amused red ostrich yells : If this was accurate, it would be awesome. As it is, ehhhh...not the truest thing I\'ve ever read. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The bewildered yellow kangaroo yells : Always the best content from these podrigious writers. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The old black alligator squawks : LMFAO! -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 
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